The Lost Child
by Sollux Capdick
Summary: My name is Eridan Ampora, and I hate myself. I've been alone my whole life. Rejected over and over again by all. I mean, I've tried to do my best, tried to find the right option, to please everyone. It didn't do me much good. I never ended up making one goddamn person proud. I was called annoying, useless. But it was okay, because I thought, that I had someone I could love.
1. Chapter 1

My name is Eridan Ampora, and I hate myself.

I've been alone my whole life.

Rejected over and over again by all.

I mean, I've tried to do my best, tried to find the right option, to please everyone.

It didn't do me much good, did it?

I never ended up making one goddamn person proud.

I was called annoying, useless.

But it was okay, because back then, I thought, that I had someone I could actually _love. _And so I wasn't exactly _alone._

But I made a crucial mistake. She pushed me away.

And after my first rejection, I began to question exactly what that word meant. _Love._

Even as my lonely heart ached, I tried to move on and pick someone else.

Looking back on it, I probably shouldn't have flirted so daringly with so many.

What did I expect in return, exactly?

I'm still not sure.

Then later, after two more rejections, I finally decided that love could not be real.

It can't have been!

I, who only wanted the best for everyone, who always only just wanted to help.

Who did their best everyday to stay sane for the sake of my outward appearance.

I hadn't done anything wrong, and yet people hated me with a passion.

Laughed at me.

I hadn't been loved once in my miserable life.

Why the hell was I even alive, anyways?

For what?

Many times I sought a way out. A rest, a way for peace where no expectations awaited me.

But, somehow I felt that, at the very last moment, I always felt, _this is not right._

It was immoral, somehow.

And my scarf hid my disgraceful failures.

Day after day, paranoid that somehow that my shield might slip off and my idiocy would be revealed to the world.

But, you know?

There was always someone.

That I never, ever dared to flirt with.

Because I knew he hated me.

And I hated him.

So that meant we were to stay away, right?

He had his life, and I had mine.

Two separate trolls.

Two separate viewpoints, and experiences.

So why wouldn't my mind leave him?

The only answer I could have thought of was all too haunting.

And all it did was make me hate myself more.

_What is your name?_

My name is Eridan Ampora.

And I am all alone.

**The Lost Child**

**(I do not own Homestuck)**

The sky was hazy gray, which mixed gloomily with the calm ebb and flow of the tide in which I sat in front of, gripping my legs to my chest.

The chilling breeze was softly carrying my black hair east, and my purple cape rippled slightly in the wind.

I came here often, finding it a nice place to relax, and forget everything.

My black lips formed a little smile when I closed my eyes, and inhaled the amazing scent of the salt in the air.

Somehow, that smell had always been nice to me.

Sweet and sharp.

And my eyes opened slowly, my mood dropped, as did the corners of my mouth.

I should feet at peace here, but for some reason I just can't shake the sinking feeling in my stomach.

_Oh, god._

And burying my head into my arms protectively, a sudden chill passes through me. I grip my legs closer to my body, feeling close to tears now.

A rumble of my stomach, and squeaking, a sharp pain passes through my gut.

"Well, aren't you a sorry sight."

I just about jump three miles into the air when the bored-sounding voice sounds from right behind me.

Turning swiftly, I find it to be the Vantas.

He is looking into the rippling waves behind me with a slightly aggravated look on his face, his hands shoved into the pockets of his gray jeans.

Feeling suddenly threatened, I growl audibly.

"Wwhat the hell do you mean, Vvantas? I'm not in the mood for your bullshit right noww."

I rest my hands in the soft sand underneath me, and begin feeling a mixture of confusion and regret at my harsh tones when he doesn't respond.

The only thing I can hear for a few moments is the sound of crashing waves, then I break the awkward silence by standing up and brushing the sand from my clothes somewhat huffily.

"Nevver mind, I'll just leavve. See you around, Kar."

Turning, a little too fast, I begin to stride away in one swift turn, but I stop when he calls my name suddenly.

"Wait. Eridan."

I take my glasses off hurriedly with a click as I rush to wipe off my tears with the arm of my black sweater.

Straightening them back onto the bridge of my nose, I turn with my lip curled up at him, sharp teeth exposed.

"Wwhat is it? And wwhy the hell are you even here, land-dwweller? I thought you livved further inland."

Now he finally turns to me with a sullen look.

"I was hanging out with Gamzee. His house is right up there."

He thrusts a thumb behind his shoulder, and indeed a house is there, shrouded slightly by mist.

Facing him again, I curl a lip in annoyance, but inside, my stomach is slightly swooping at what he might be getting at.

"So wwhat? Just tell me wwhy you called me back, already."

He scratches the back of his head and frowns at the ground, trying to find words.

"I-I don't know. Just... I guess I wanted to apologize for our last conversation. I was kind of rude... I think. Yeah, yeah, I was rude to you. Er, especially rude, but, oh, damn it, I'm, no good with words!"

I just stare at him, jaw hanging open slightly.

"Errr, what I'm trying to say is that I'm sorry, Eridan. Er, for calling you useless. I mean, you're one of the strongest players in our session. So... I'm sorry."

Was... he flirting with me?

Could it really be possible, after all that he had said to me on previous chats?

I'd sure like to think so.

Opening my mouth wider, I struggle to form coherent sentences.

"Are... are you... Tryin' to, uh...?"

He raised an eyebrow, looking slightly repulsed.

"Eridan. Yeah, uh, I know you have lots of issues, but, don't get the wrong idea, I mean, I'm just apologizing, okay? So... uh, I have to... um, get going now, but... I suppose I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"Hmph. You thought I wwas dumb enough to think you wwere tryin' to hit on me? Get the glub out of here already, you insufferable prick!"

I cross my arms, and glare at him.

Giving me a simpering look he turns and walks the opposite direction down the beach, just like that.

After a few minutes of staring, I watch as he dissolves into the mist.

I ball a fist and hit it to my forehead over and over mumbling, _stupid, stupid, stupid_.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

I walk down the sandy shores, shoulders slumping, feeling drained. Eyelids hood in defeat, I begin slanting slightly into the water, my shoes getting utterly soaked.

Then finally, after another few minutes, my foot catches on a rock hidden in the waves, and what might have only made me stumble now had me falling face first into the waves, body useless.

My arms splash into the water, and my face soon follows, the damp sand digging into my fins uncomfortably.

Instantly the front of my outfit became wet in the mud, but after a second I decided that I didn't mind it. Closing my eyes now, I sighed outwardly and began breathing lightly in, then out and soon I had fallen into a sort of drunken stupor in which I was half awake- half asleep.

Time passed, and my broken body slowly had the warmth leeched out of it.

More time.

And then...

Warm arms cradling my malnourished body suddenly around the waist; I was being lifted into a sort of protective hold. They had one arm tucked under my upper back and the other underneath the crook of my legs, which were bouncing slightly as we began to walk.

It was nice...

My cheek had been pressing into the warm down of their shirt, and now inhaling slightly, I snuggle further into their stomach, causing a slight shiver go down their body.

I... liked their scent. It was... chemical-esque, in a way, if that makes sense. It had a sharp edge to it that made my nose twitch if I breathed in too much at a time.

I really couldn't get enough of that smell.

Wow.

And now, inhaling again, my nose begins itching, and I tilt my head away from their body and sneeze in a small "_aa-chu!"_

Wrinkling my nose, I turn back to their chest, and notice they've stopped walking.

Blinking my eyes a few times, and vision clearing now, I look up to see a pair of multicolored shades that I recognize.

"S-Sollux?!"

Moving my painfully aching arms to push away from his body now, I take him by surprise and manage to break free of his grip, and falling on my ass (which hurts quite a lot) ,I slam to the ground, my arms twitching in agony.

_What the hell?  
I can't move my limbs?!_

"Sollux, you bastard! Wwhat did you do to me? Wwhy can't I movve my muscles?"

He looks down at me with an irritatingly blank expression, eyes hidden as normal behind his infuriating glasses.

"I didn't do anything at all to you. But I'm not thurprithed. Thitting in that freething water probably methed up your muthelths, ED, don't blame me."

I growl, then wince.

"Great. Just fuckin' great. All I need right noww is to be paralyzed wwith no one around but the one person I wwouldn't wwant touchin' me in a million years. Just freakin' amaziin'."

He doesn't respond, just looks slightly disgusted, then begins trudging back the way we came, his hands sliding into his pockets.

My eyes widen behind my glasses, and beginning to feel panicky, without thinking, I shout out to him.

"Wwait! Sollux, don't go, please! I'm sorry! Solluuuux!"

But he doesn't even pay me mind, and keeps walking.

_The heartless bastard._

"Sollux, please, do _not _leavve me here! It's cold!"

And suddenly, as he begins to slightly fade into the near mist, I sob and the sudden cascade of tears tracing down my cheek are unstoppable.

"I-I wwas wwrong; I don't wwant to die yet, okay?! Sollux!"

Here he stops. Stops, then turns. And somewhat huffily, he stomps back to my place on the cold sand.

And he kneels, his shoes digging into the soft mud, and grips my scarf angrily, pulling me upwards.

Instantly, a overwhelming feeling of horror shoots through my body.

_Oh no oh no oh no oh no_

_He's either going to kill me for bothering him or find out that I've tried things like this before or maybe both_

_nononono I don't want that_

Unconsciously, the cascade of tears picks up it's pace and my voice quavers when I stutter.

He seems further unnerved by my emotional state, and he grits his teeth together in agitation.

"What ith thith? You tried to fucking kill yourthelf? And now you're crying like a bitch, lying in the goddamned othean, in thoaked clotheth? I've never _theen _thith before with you! You're alwayth tho... tho... goddamned contherved! What ith _wrong_ with you?"

I just shake my head, unable to find words, to find that my desperation has faded. The humiliation in this moment is just as bad as my rejections, so much worse than the humiliation of being left to die slowly on a beach.

I don't care anymore.

He grimaces, then digs a hand underneath my waist, propping me up, and hefts me up once more like he had previously.

"Sollux, goddamn it! Put me dowwn this instant! I don't want to go! Stop, I'vve changed my mind, okay? _Let me down!_"

My voice quavers uncontrollably as I berate him, doing my best to weakly beat his chest with my frozen limbs, but nothing will move.

But I stop, eyes widening as I feel that he is shaking.

Looking up at him questioningly, to my surprise, he has an expression of pure disgust on his face.

This startles me, in a way that I cannot comprehend, and biting back a sob, I quiver slightly and press myself to his body somewhat submissively, the drumming of his legs around mine, the splash of the sea, his arms cradled around me, and his intoxicating scent, all contribute to my eventual fall into sleep, a small smile once again on my lips as I can finally rest.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

"ED. …... ED... Eridan. Eridan Ampora, wake the fuck up right thith inthtant."

I squeak slightly in discomfort, roll over. And now trying to pull my hands up to my frozen arms, I wince as the pain shocks me into reality.

"Mmmphhfff... Nnnnnm..."

A chill washes through me and rubbing my cheek on the floor slightly, I squint my eyes, but doing so causes my glasses to tilt off of my face and clatter onto the ground.

Mumbling a prissy curse of some sort, I move to reach up for my glasses, but my arm seizes, and gasping in pain, I bite the inside of my cheek, eyes watering.

Still not used to this "no moving" thing, I suppose.

I open my eyes, trying to blink out the pain-induced tears, and through my rather watery vision, I see a somewhat worried-looking Captor squatting, his arms resting on his raised knees.

Blinking the tears out until they fall sideways down the bridge of my nose, I look back at Sollux to see that he is grimacing at me in annoyance. Or, from what I can see, without glasses.

Was that concerned expression just a trick of my eyes?

"Jeez, ED. You're thure putting me through a lot of trouble jutht to thave one fucking fith printheth."

I blink angrily.

"Fish _Princess_? Wwho do you think you're talkin' to, lowblood? I am Eridan Ampora, member of one of the finest lineag-"

He cuts me off quite rudely, by poking me directly in the eye with the end of my own glasses, which causes more tears to leak out of my damaged eye, and I swear rather loudly.

His fuzzy form snickers.

"Tho much for that finetht lineage thit."

But as I begin pouting, looking away in defeated annoyance, he sighs, picks up my glasses and fits them back onto my face. His fingers slightly brush my forehead upon drawing away and unable to feel anything but a squirm in my stomach, my face turns slightly purple.

But now, another horrible, mind-wracking, frozen cold wave electrifies my body, and I have to hold back my natural instinct to normally shiver, or move in any way. However, I do let out my built up anxiety in one pain-filled whimper that has Sollux looking at me again (and no, I suppose I wasn't imagining it) ,in that concerned way he had tried so hard to hide.

"E...eridan? Are you okay? That thounded weird..."

I shook my head slowly, my eyes clamped shut.

"Eridan...? What'th wrong. You have to tell me, or I can't help you."

I look up at him, lips slightly parted.

"Sol... I'm cold..."

And another shiver passes through me as I say this, making me wince and cry out softly once more.

"It hurts..."

He looks at me, looking slightly at a loss.

Then he grabs the rim of his glasses, and pushes them up slightly.

"It mutht be thomething that wath in the water, then. It wathn't normal, that'th for thure. Where were you, anywayths?"

Glancing up at him, I find his head slightly turned, and it occurred to me that this was how he looked while he was thinking legitimately hard about something.

"I... I wwas near the highblood's house... Makara..."

He looked at me.

"Well then, that maketh more thense. Thith ith jutht a theory, but he may have been polluting the nearby othean with hith thopor thlime. Man, you thoud feel lucky that I decided to take a walk today, and near _hith_ houth, too."

I stared at him for a second or two, then looked away, furrowing my eyebrows.

After all, he was my rival. My enemy.

Who was I to show weakness in front of him?

_Why was this happening?_

He cleared his throat, and moved forwards slightly.

"Tho... uh... ith there anything you need from me, then? I mean, the betht tholution in thith cathe would be warmth, but..."

I just lowed my eyelids, and bit my lip, but said nothing.

He looked at me for a few moments, then sighed, rose to his feet, back arching, pressing his hands to the crick of his back and stretching.

I couldn't resist but looking up at him from my place on the ground.

His dark, ruffled hair stuck up around his horns, and lightly caressed his cheeks around the front. Slender gray arms with slightly long fingers complemented the naturally lanky figure he bore. A dark shirt that wrapped so magnificently around his body hung off of his chest, yet still accented his shape amazingly. Dark gray jeans that clung tightly around his long legs were slightly rumpled at the edges because of their length. The ends of his pants somewhat shrouded his black and white shoes.

But, I had to admire his ass, since it was so beautifully shown off in these specific pants, and especially at this angle.

But again, I turn away, hiding the now deeper shade of purple dusting my features, in immoral shame.

He finishes cracking his back, and upon doing so he doesn't even so much as give me a glance before heading to his desktop computer.

I wanted, so badly to call out to him, or say something, but my throat seemed to have something stuck in it, for I could not get a single word out.

What would I say, anyways? However, my stomach churned as I waited longer and longer.

Who knows how long _exactly _it was? All I know is that time passed by excruciatingly, inhabited with nothing but the clicking and typing from where Sollux sat, the growing pain in my hip where it was digging into the floor, and my evaporating warmth.

Once, he got up to retrieve some sort of a pop-open can of a sort, which he chugged down shamelessly, and all I could do was watch in disgust as he further tainted his mustard-sludge blood.

But finally, after I couldn't stand one second of my torture any longer, I decided to speak up.

"Uhm- S-sollux? I just-"

My voice cracked and I cleared my throat, face burning, seeing as his mouth had twisted into an amused grin, canines peeking out.

"Err, oh, shut up, Sol," for he had just chuckled into his arm, disguised as a cough, ", and, anywways! Uhh... so, this position is really uncomfortable, and I'm not gettin' any warmer here. So,... I proba'ly need somethin' to help my body get, uh, fuctionin' again."

He stared, then coughed, once again, into his hand shortly, most likely hiding another smile.

"What did you have in mind?"

I grit my teeth in agony, trying to get the words out.

"W-wwell, maybe you could- Maybe- you could just... kind of... hold me in y-"

"_Ooookay_, let me thtop you right there. Firtht of all, that ith not happening. Thecond of all, ith _that _what you've been trying to get out thith whole time?"

I bit back tears, not wanting to cry in front of Sollux once again, or to make my reasons for crying seem so trivial.

"Yeah. That wwas wwhat I've been tryin' to get out, you fuckass."

I heard a mutter of, _pitiful thithead_, then:

"Okay, now, third of all, did I not bring you into my hive? Why are you exthpectin' more? Jutht becauthe you're uthed to highblood treatment 'cauthe your royalty, doethen't mean you'll be here, your highneth."

My face quivered, as I was trying so hard not to get overly emotional with him.

"So-sol. Don't call me that."

"Doth your highneth command it of me?"

"Shut up, Sol."

"Why thoud I, your highneth? Will you thend the royal guardth after me if I don't?"

"S-s-sol, shut the fuck up!"

Now the quavering in my voice couldn't disguise the fact that I was close to crying once again. I don't think that anyone has ever invoked such negative emotions in me. And now I remembered why I hated the fuckin' Captor so much.

"Oh, gonna cry? Leth thee it, printheth~"

I tapped my forehead to the cool ground underneath me, my unraveling scarf going unnoticed. And then a flap of blue and black, and the fabric fell to the ground, my neck now exposed.

Sollux, who had just been grinning in my embarrassed anger, caught the movement, and looked down to my bare neck, which no other living thing had ever seen.

I took note of the silence, looked to him, followed his gaze.

Eh? Was he...?

"_Oh, shit! Do-don't look at me!_"

He ripped his gaze away, turned it to me angrily.

"What the fuck, Er?!"

I moved my shoulders up to block his view, and an excruciating pain ripped through my upper muscles. But, I winced, cried out into the stale air, still fighting my twitching muscles, so he only didn't have to see.

Under his glasses, I saw a little sliver of Sollux's one blue eye twitch, and he reached out swiftly to grab my shoulder.

"Thtop! You're hurting yourthelf!"

I twitchy turn my head to meet his gaze, saw his mouth slightly open in horror and disbelief.

"Highbloods havve problems too, like all livvin' things, Sol. Don't exclude me, okay?"

He gulped and reached out for me a little bit with his left hand, but stopped it in midair, and brought it back down to his lap.

His arms shook slightly as he glanced up, once again, to my neck.

The most noticeable thing about it was the long dark purple scar that circled the entire thing. But littering the entirety of it were also varying sizes of cuts, bruises, and stitches.

In other places the flesh was slightly eaten away, or even looking to be _burned, _almost.

Anyone could see why Captor felt sick.

I took a shaky breath.

"I... I knoww it's nauseatin', that I'm so wweak an' I can't evven handle life, okay? I already knoww that..."

I closed my eyes, ground my teeth together.

And Sollux's voice blended with my shaking whimpers beautifully.

"What the _fuck_ are you talking about, ED? Thatth not the itthue here! Why the hell do you have tho many injurieth? Who did that to you?"

I looked up at him, disbelief on my face.

My nose wrinkled.

"Wwait. You- - - think someone else did this to me?"

His mouth opened, then shut.

"Wait. Wait, wait, wait, Are you tellin' me that theeth are thelf inflicted?"

I closed my eyes, and shook as I tried to get out the answer.

Finally, I whispered in a dry voice, _yes,_ and the effect was instantaneous.

"Wh-what? Why?! You have everything! Why would you- you-"

He clapped a hand to his mouth, his gag reflex triggering slightly in reference to the most_ disgusting_ thing lying in front of him.

His eyes watering slightly, he finishes.

"Why would you do that to yourthelf? And then, then try and kill yourthelf inthtead in thopor fuckin' lake? I don't get you, ED!"

But now, not listening to him anymore, I begin shaking in horrible quakes now, setting my nerves on fire, my choked sobs cutting through his angry rants.

I'm so... goddamned cold...

These stupid wet clothes don't help, that's for sure.

And, all of the sudden, I can't help but shakily laugh at Sollux's disbelieving face.

_So... unlike him..._

_ha... haha..._

"ED, what'th wrong now? Do you have more of thothe damned thcarth? Are they hurtin' you? Where are they?"

But he gnashes his teeth as I just keep on weakly smiling, up at the ceiling now.

He grips his shirt, tugs at it in agony.

"Wh-what the hell? Why are you jutht thmilin', damn it? Eri-eridan?"

Looking over at him now, I chuckle.

"...Sol..?"

And, feeling somewhat at peace, I simply close my eyes, my breathing instantly slows to a nice relaxing pace.

Half a moment of peace, and then pain, oh the pain, but I am being pulled to Sollux Captor's chest, and everything is okay now.

He hugs my waist, presses my body against his, my head sliding over his shoulder.

"Sol-sollux? Wwhat the hell...?"

He grips me tighter, then I hear his annoyed growl.

"God damn it, Er, I thought you were about to die, or thomthin, the way you were actin' jutht now."

I laugh lowly.

"I might havve if you hadn't savved me, Sol."

His grip loosened slightly, and I couldn't help but feel that he had been slightly put off by that last comment.

"Shut up. Thith ithn't a game. I don't know what'th up with you today, and jutht tho you know, I'm not doin' thith for you. Ith for my own thanity, okay? If I don't thave you, I'm gonna feel like I'm the one who killed you off, got it, Er?"

I turn my head so that my chin is resting on his shoulder, and when he turns cautiously, I grin, my eyes hooded, our faces mere inches apart.

"Don't you dare-"

And I move forwards, pressing my lips against his, sailing over them, my tongue dragging over his bottom lip, and canines pressing testily against it, all in a couple of seconds.

He pulls away, his face highlighted under his cheeks, and breaths short, but he was obviously pissed. Little red and blue sparks were rocketing up his arms and he shook in embarrassed anger.

"Wh-w-what th-the fuck wa-wath tha-that, E-er?"

I just grin in response, loving how he isn't hiding anything right now.

"Wwhat...? You obvviously liked it... Do you wwant more, or somethin'?"

He makes a noise, deep in his throat, dangerous, warning.

"Ampora. If you weren't dyin' on my thoulder right now, I'd have killed you already. I thwear to god, if you try that thit again-"

"So wwhile I'm dyin' on your shoulder you wwon't kill me, correct?"

"ED, I thwear to fuckin' god, no. You will not-"

But his head is instantly forced back by the power of my push, and soon I have him panting into my mouth, strings of growling whines not uncommon. His glasses begin to slip off and they catch slightly on his bangs before clattering to the ground

Once more, he rights his head, now _really _ticked off.

"Eridan! You are not goin' to take advantage of me jutht because you're a lonely fuckin' theadweller that can't get not one perthon to like you!"

A stab straight to my heart, the exhilaration from just seconds already long gone. But I smile, in a kind of accepting, sad way, and his unnerving eyes blink at me, as I just kind of... look at him for a few seconds.

My head goes limp after a second.

"Sollux... can you...?"

Silence, then-

He sighs, and runs a hand through his hair.

"Yeth, what ith it, ED?"

I struggle for a second, stuttering.

"C-ca-can, you kill me... Sol?"

His eyes widen, and I'm sure just as he's about to protest I cut him off.

"Ple...please? You're the only one I can ask for somethin' like this..."

And he stares, eyebrows tilted into little u's, mouth open slightly, as I ramble on.

"I mean, it wwould be so much easier for evveryone if I wwas gone, right? I don't evven do anythin' helpful but get in the wway and make people mad... I can't do one fuckin' thing wwithout bein' told, that's wwrong! Or, wwhy did you do that? I... don't knoww... I still think that you should havve left me to die in the sopor lake... It wwould havve been so much less painful than this..."

He flinches, looks at me in hurt.

"So... just kill me noww, wwhile it's not as bad... Livvin' just isn't worth it..."

And my heart aches so badly in that moment, that I can't even process the pain going through my chest, and a little sob escapes as I bury my face in the down on his shirt.

Suddenly, I can't help but start full on sobbing as I finish.

"Oh god do it quick please it hurts so much!"

I hear a sort of choked noise above me and Sollux is hugging me to him, to my utter confusion, while he shakes. An uncontrollably quivering body does nothing other than signify that, who, but the Captor has finally broken down? For me?

Sollux's voice is shakes slightly when he speaks.

"Eridan- Pleathe, o-ohh god- I-I can't ev-ven-"

A sharp, shaking inhale, and more stuttering dialogue ensues.

"Ju-utht..." He took a deep inhale, then he exhaled, and his voice calmed somewhat.

"Do n-not ma-make me kill you, okay? G-god, thith thoundth t-tho dumb..."

I looked up at him, his hurting expression.

"Soll-lux... are... you go-going to lea-leavve me, too? I-I don-n't bla-blame you if y-you wwill... I-I-I'm us-sed to it b-by noww... heh... hehehe..."

Sollux gripped my body so tightly now, and my sharp inhale of pain startles him.

"O-oh, g-g-god, I don't kno-know how to an-anthwer thomthin li-like that... I-I mean, jethus f-fuck, Eri-ridan. I di-did not exthpect thith to ha-happen at all!"

I craned my neck, my heart hurting so badly, like it hadn't for months, and slowly, softly, I kissed him once more.

This time he let me, and despite what we were engaging in, it was the saddest thing I had ever felt. Longing, and need. Pity, most of all.

After a few breathy moments, I broke away, satisfied momentarily.

Sollux stared at me, hatred in his eyes.

"...Eridan, why? Thith ith born out of fucking hatred, thith ith nothing like... fluthhed romanth, if that's what you wanted... I... don't even want you ath a kithmethis, either, though! Ugh, fuck, why did you have to make everything tho goddamned hard for me?

You're... you're tho irritating _all the fuckin time!_ But then thomtimthe you're really... I don't know... really fuckin' adorable and funny, and... pretty, but god, I don't even know what I'm thayin', wow. Ughh, I'm an _idiot!_"

I stared at him.

"Wwait, Sollux...? W-wwhat did you say?"

He looked down at me in irritation.

"I thaid thith ith born out of hatred, itth not like ith the fluthed quadrant, or anythin'."

"No-not tha-, oh, never mind."

I sigh shakily and inhale.

"Sollux... keep me wwarm, okay...?"

As I close my eyes, he gives a defeated sigh and places his hands around my waist.

Nestling into the scent of his shirt, of his _house_, I relax my muscles, finally, and straddle his waist, bending my legs to his shape.

He gives an annoyed huff.

"Thith ith _it_, goddamn it. I am helpin' you tonight, and I am done, Ampora, you underthand me? Thith ith the dumbetht thit I've ever done in my life. I don't even think that thith counth ath-"

God, he won't fucking shut up, will he?

"Hey, Sollux?"

"What the fuck could you pothibly want from me, now?"

"Hehe... You're so annoyin'... I hate you so much... I can't even describe it..."

He growls lowly, and grips my waist.

"I hate you, too, Er."

Huffing into his ear in contentment, my arms slowly come up to wrap around his shoulders.

After a moment of silence, the wet fabric of my cape clinging to my back becomes irritatingly noticeable. The Captor groans when I shift forwards and my soaked legs grind around his waist.

"God fuckin' damn it, Er. How the fuck are you thupothed to get dry if you're thoakin' wet?"

I hood my eyelids, grinning at him, and I watch in amusement as he struggles not to look my way.

But really, what was I playing at?

He clearly denied me, like all the others had.

In a sense, he had left me.

But still... that didn't mean that I was going to stop my little game.

Or that I wasn't desperate for him.

Lord, how clear it was to me now. I wanted Sollux Captor, the lowblood.

Maybe... it would be nice to test his limits without irritatin' him too much.

And I grabbed the back of his shirt, the laughter now pouring from my mouth unstoppable, especially as he shivered and ground his teeth.

Alright, Captor. How about I show you just how irresistible an Ampora can be?

Pressing my mouth to his ear, breath hitching slightly, I emit a fake mewl when I pull my crotch up to his lower stomach, and press my body tighter to his.

"Wwell then, wwhat're wwe goin' to do? I'm s-so cold... unnf-"

I have to work hard to hide my smile as he huffs and pushes at my shoulders, trying to pry me off of him.

"God- - -damn- - -it! Er, get the fuck _off _ofme!"

"Uhn~ So-sol... Stop, that hu-hurts..."

He ceases, obviously convinced.

"_Ughhhhhhh!_ Thee, thith ith what I mean! What the fuck am I _thupothed _to do?"

I curl my arms tighter, pitch my voice to a begging whine.

"Soooollux... You're just goin' to have ta' take my wwet clothes off, wwon't you?"

He frowns.

"No. I'm not doiin' that. Not in a million yearth for anyone, let alone you."

Smiling, my eyebrows raise.

"Wwell, should I take them off, instead?"

He turns swiftly, his mouth open.

"What. No, you aren't doing that, either. Jethuth chritht. Thith ith not thomething I can handle. What the _fuck _did I just get mythelf into? I thoud have left you to die in that othean, thoudn't I?"

Instantly, hurt strikes through me, straight through the heart.

My expression hardens, I feel instantly fed up, and sickened with him at the same time.

I had to get out of here.

Sharp knives racketing over my skin, I slowly reach my arms down and latch to the floor with my hands. I begin to pull myself off of him, emitting pained noises in frustration and hurt.

"Oh, god, thtop, I'm begging you, Er I'm thorry, okay? Jutht thtop, already!"

But I turn, my face expression hating and cruel. I curl a lip and him and snarl.

"Stay the fuck awway from me, Captor. I don't wwant you touchin' me nevver again."

He reaches out for me, but I snarl _"get away" _and he retreats, looking solemn.

Pulling myself almost all the way off of him, my arm trembles and loses its hold, and I slam to the ground, crying out in pain.

Hurting, mentally and physically, I feel, for the third time today, tears trailing down my cheeks smoothly.

"F-f-fuck you, S-sol. Fuck you! Wwhy did i-it havve to c-come this far be-before you dec-decide that you- that you'd rather I'd havve fuckiin' died than been here w-wwith you. Fuck y-you!"

He grips the floor with shaking fingers, but says nothing.

Smart Captor.

I can feel Sollux's restlessness behind me, but I pay him no mind, and begin trying to heave myself up once more, determined not to be so weak as to let some polluted sea-water get to me.

But as I exhale sharply upon bracing my arms on the ground, and the digging pain carves deep into my psyche.

I don't have a chance to feel the full extent of the burden, however, because Sollux is pulling me back into the comfort of his body.

But I growl, and lash out at him spasmodically, not wanting his filth near me, let alone touching me.

"Get awway, lowwblood! Get your fuckin' filthy hands off of me, already!"

Since his forehead is pressed to my back, I cannot see his face, but his quiet voice lashes at my heart.

"Fine... I'll do anything, Eridan, jutht thtop hurtin' yourthelf... I can't bear to thee it no more..."

I scoff dramatically at him.

"Oh, noww you're wworried? I thought I could go die for all you cared! Why can't I hurt myself, if that's the case, huh? Lowblood?"

He shifts slightly, grips my shirt tighter now.

"I-I... Becauthe..."

Beginning to quiver slightly, his breaths now speed up.

"Becauthe there are worth thingth than death..."

A shiver runs through me, and my eyes open, wide, I turn my head slowly.

"Sol...?"

He laughs bitterly.

"I though I wath the lowblood..."

He shifts me, with much ease and gentleness that I wouldn't have expected from him, so that I am now pressed against his front, like I had been earlier.

Tilting my head forward slightly to meet his, my face begins to flush once more as his ragged breaths heat my face. Sliding my arms over his shoulders, I grin slightly as I shift up to softly brush his lips.

He shivers, and pulls away, and staring, I watch as he taps his head to my shoulder.

"Sol... can you forgivve me? I'm... sorry, it wwas dumb of me, wwasn't it... To ovverreact like that."

He bites his inner cheek, and begins staring into space slightly when he answers.

"No... you don't need to apologithe... I thoudn't have thed that... It wath... horrible... And I regret it... I jutht want you to know that, Er..."

Eyes blank, I reach a hand up and lightly tug at his slightly longer outer bangs.

He wrinkles his nose, and shifts further away from me.

Smiling again now, I roll my right shoulder until my wet sweater slips down my arm slightly. And slanting my head, I bite the heavy water-logged cape and unhook it, where it drops down to Sollux's legs. He looks up now, to find me biting my lip and sulking in fake sadness.

Mouth opened slightly, his unnerving eyes flicker to my neck, and he brings a hand up slowly around to the back of my head.

Pausing his motion, he sighs outwardly slightly.

"Er, ith it... okay?"

I nod, my head now tilted into the crook of his neck. He hesistates once more, then tentitavely reaches a hand up to the lower-back of my head, slightly brushing the soft hair there with a careful caress.

Shivering slightly, I decide that I like his careful touch.

I nudge my head slightly into his hand.

I hear the concern in his voice when he speaks.

"The chill radiating off of you hathn't gotten any better, yet. Ith it becauthe you're thtill wearing the clotheth that got thoaked with the polluted water?"

I look up at him, and this time he meets my gaze for one second before his eyes flicker away from mine.

Pressing myself to him, I can feel that the water from my clothes has already soaked through his clothes in various places: his chest, right shoulder, the inner thighs and lower legs, too.

He _hmphs_.

"If I don't do thomthing about thith, I'll be affected, too."

Ugh. The suspension was killing me. Was he going to do it or not?

I couldn't take it.

But the real question was whether Sollux could handle it.

He seemed able to read me so easily. But, not once in my past have I ever been able to understand even a little of what he might be thinking.

Finally breaking suspense and getting the fuck down to it already, I shift so that my lips brush the insides of his ear just slightly, and whisper:

"Why don't you take care of that, then...?"

He exhales sharply, as he chuckles.

"Eridan." Here he draws in a deep, long breath, and lets it out slowly. "I know that I got mythelf into thith situation, tho now, coming thith far, I have to retholve what I tharted. But, don't exthpect anything exthtra, you underthand me?"

Tilting my head so that it is rested into his chest, I smile where he can't see.

_Ah, finally, he's caved in, having no other choice._

"I... I get it, okay...? Noww... please, before it gets any wworse..."

His arms quiver slightly in anticipation and guilt at what he was about to undergo.

Frowning, he slides his hands around my waist, and shifts the shirt upwards, so that my sweater is pulled up with his touch.

Hands reaching my ribs now, I watch as he visibly parts his lips, and eyebrows furrow.

"Damn it... Why am I doin' thith?"

He squeezes my shirt slightly in agitation, and water leaks out of it, and hits my damp torso, running down it until it hits the waistband of my pants, which it soaks into.

I hold in a laugh as the Captor gulps and shifts the material slightly further.

"Uhh, Er... thith might hurt a bit, but you're going to have to bear with me, okay?"

I nod, and unhook my fingers from his shirt, then brace for the pain.

He pulls the shirt up so that now my entire neck is exposed, and biting my lip, my arms shift slowly, but shakily up over my head as the shirt goes farther and farther up.

My chest heaving in and out in strain, I sigh in exausted relief when the sweater makes it to my elbows, and lowering my arms over Sollux's head, then down onto his shoulders once more, the black garment falls to the ground, and I rest my chin on his shoulder breathlessly.

"Sol...lux... that was... rough...haha..."

He laughs, but only for an instant, but either way, it warms me, inside and out.

My bare chest is pressing against his now, my back arched into him, and legs bent behind us. A huff out, and we are facing each other, eyes half closed, face flushed and lips slightly tilted upwards. I raise one eyebrow at him, and he huffs outwardly in annoyance before leaning forward with a disapproving look and sliding his lips over mine, pushing my head back slightly in anger. He scrapes his teeth over my bottom lip, then finally bites it slightly, and whining slightly, I lower my defenses.

He takes this advantage to come forward and begin sucking devilishly on my tongue, and unable to help it, a string of moans erupts from my mouth.

"Oh, god, Sol, don't stop!"

**Review, and I'll finish this 3**


	2. Chapter 2

My bare chest is pressing against his now, back arched into him, and legs bent behind us. A huff out, and we are facing each other, eyes half closed, faces flushed and lips slightly tilted upwards. I raise one eyebrow at him, and he huffs outwardly in annoyance before leaning forward with a disapproving look and sliding his lips over mine, pushing my head back slightly in anger. He scrapes his teeth over my bottom lip, then finally bites it, and whining slightly, I lower my defenses.

Captor takes this advantage to come forward and begin sucking devilishly on my tongue, and unable to help it, a string of moans erupt from my mouth.

"Oh, god, Sol, don't stop!"

Scoffing, he rubs a freezing cold hand down my back, his claws dragging. My mouth opens further, entire body shivering; he curls his tongue underneath mine, and thrusts upwards, then brings it around to slither and coil around the top and side.

_holyfuckhlyfuckholyfuck_

I reach shakily forwards to grab his waist, but stay my hands, let them drop.

Sollux notices immediately.

He sighs, and pulls away.

"God, ED, what the fuck have you done to me...?"

My eyes soften, and my head tilts to tap his shoulder.

He looks over, and silent for a few moments, I sigh and lean up to his neck, inhale.

God, seriously what is up with that?

Smells like pure fucking chemicals. And god why is it so alluring to me?

"Sol... can you do me... a fawor...?"

Smiling, I nestle into his neck.

He looks wary, and my stomach gives a little anticipating stab.

Knowing what I asked him for last time.

But he speaks up, sounding wary indeed.

"Uh... well it dependth what it ith, really, Er."

I laugh, a little too breathily.

"Just... just for tonight... Sol, only, tonight... lowe me... please...?"

At this he gives a hell of a half-laugh, half-snarl.

"Heh... you fuckin' gotcha..."

At this statement, Sollux grimaces in the slightest, but does not waste time in using the leverage of his mouth against mine to forcibly tip my chin backwards, glasses slipping, then falling off of my face, and clattering to the floor.

He runs a tongue down from my mouth to my neck, where a thick line down to my collarbone is paved. Pulling up, a glance is given shortly at my neck before my largest scar is being traced halfway around.

Moving to a grotesque burn, he outlines then highlights my shame by tenfold. Entire neck tingles, burns, as he smears my most sensitive areas, then cools it with ice-cold breath, and sucks on grotesque injuries.

Feeling, once again on the verge of tears when he nips the tender skin directly on my most recent wound, slightly deeper than the rest, my body goes numb in quakes, racketing over my entire body, sending fear-filled pleasure through every nerve in me.

Finally, my wet eyes spill over the edge, up my forehead, and into my hairline.

Racketed in confusing, overwhelming waves of regret, I squeak when Sollux finally clamps down on the side of my neck fully, tugs at the skin there, and letting go of my facade, I suddenly let out a louder cry of pain.

He pulls away slowly, looks at me with wide eyes, when steadily, I lift my aching neck up to face him, but I don't want to look, don't want to look at him with my weak, ugly eyes.

His breaths are slow, so slow.

Shivering in the sudden cold, my arms reach up, reach, to clench there, at my chest.

To hide my imperfect, unholy body from his gaze.

But, before I can meet my goal, he swiftly thrusts out and grabs my wrists with his hands.

"Er... what are you doing? Whath wrong _now?_"

I shake my head, feeling sickened.

"I..."

"Goddamn it, Er! You'd better thpeak up pretty fuckin' fatht...!"

I whine slightly in irritation, but decide to say what's on my mind.

"I... wwhy...? Wwhy, ewen though, ewen though... I'm so..."

I shake my head faster now, mouth curved down into an agonized pout.

Sollux just stares, his eyes even wider now, and mouth open halfway.

"Ewen though I'm so _disgustin'_?"

The Captor looks stern.

"ED, now, wait jutht a thecond, there-"

"Ewwen, ewen though, I'm hideous, ewen though no one wwill ever giwe one fuck-"

"Just thut up alread-"

My voice raises to a high squeal, frenzied hyperventilation taking over.

"Ewen though I'm fuckin' unlowable, ewen though I'm a useless piece of shit, and though I'm imperfect in ewery fuckin' way-"

Sollux's hand across my cheek, sending blood pumping to that area, sending humiliation through my brain, sending pain across my torso, has me crumpling to his form in shock.

"Do. You ever. Thut the hell up. No, you fucking don't, tho for oneth in your mitherable life, can you thut the fuck up and lithen? Now...!"

He grabs my bare, freezing shoulders, pauses only momentarily before shaking me violently. Head rattling, he stops after a few seconds, and bobbing my head slightly, my vision clears slowly.

His serious expression falters, and he winces, seeing my self-loathing expression, but still, I look directly into the Captor's unnerving eyes.

His lips open slightly for a moment before he speaks.

"Eridan Ampora," he says, and I blink slightly in surprise. "Do you know how fucking much I've alwayth envied your lookth? Your fucking amathing body, and your thtupid little hairthreak? And the douchey way you dreth; I can't fucking exthplain it, but itth jutht too capitvatin'... I mean... for the longetht time, I jutht couldn't exthplain it... I would have to hold back tho goddamn hard not to be nithe to you... for the thake of tho many other relationthipth I had with other people... But... you know...?"

I perk up, my heart soaring at his words that have been flowing into me.

What... what... _what...?!_

W  
H  
A  
T

!

"And... I mean... I never dreamed of having any relathionthip with you, at all! It wath jutht mere fathionation, which ith the dumb part... I mean, thingth could have been different if that were the cathe...! But now, now when I have no other choithe... I thupothe... jutht thith onthe... it won't be that bad... Er, jutht tonight..."

Confused more than ever, my chest begins stirring in emotion as he looks away momentarily, his nerves surely a mess by now. But he looks back up slowly, to see my enthralled face shining at him, and he looks surprised, then laughs into his hand, a fit of giggles following.

Feeling a sense of awe, as if I was experiencing something so rare, that you would only get to see once in a lifetime, I watch, bewildered in his amusement.

And then, after a millennium, finally, he seems to snap out of it and come to himself.

Blushing a nice shade of yellow, the Captor coughs into his hand, trying to regain his stature.

"Eridan, you are not fucking hideouth. You are not unattractive, or imperfect in any way. Do you fucking underthtand me when I thay that you are literally the motht beautiful thing I've ever theen in my life? There ith not one thing that I could name about you that I don't... find interethting."

_Hm...?_

"But... don't get the wrong idea, becauthe... I'm... not into you... that way..."

He curls a lip in distaste.

"Now can we get back to that fucking hot make-out thethon we were just engagin' in? ...thankth, 'cauthe that that was pretty damn arouthing if I do thay mythelf, Ampora."

I grit my teeth, grinding them; my stomach churns in loathing.

"Captor... you hawe got to be... the _stupidest _land dwweller I'we ewer met."

His nose scrunches.

"What the hell do you mean?"

Raising my head, the anger on my face must startle him, because he looks quite taken aback.

"God damn it, Sol! Just get to wwarmin' me again, jesus fuck! My bulge is freezin' off more by the minute, you fuckass!"

Again, he sighs, grinning, and immediately wraps his arms around my waist, slides them down to the hem of my striped asshole skinny jeans, and tugs them slightly.

I'm absorbed back into things almost instantly, as his head slides onto the crook of my shoulders for leverage.

Sighing in contentment, final, absolute contentment, I notice that when my pants are slid down my thighs slowly, the pain has lessened greatly.

Lips parting slowly when he leaves them now, half-way down my thighs, Sollux comes sharply up to clasp my horns in each of his hands, yanking my head slightly back.

He rubs a thumb on the backsides of each, and I can feel my muscles begin to relax already, as he massages them gently.

Now cupping them entirely in his hands, and gripping, he moves his fingers up and down the shaft of it, pleased moans slipping out of my mouth.

He reaches the crook on the right horn where it slants downwards, and he follows the line, pushing a finger into the crevice, and dragging it slowly,

Moving to the tips now, he tests the points with a finger. My eyes are just fluttering closed when he shifts so that I am further up on his body, my thighs now balanced on his upper hips.

Sollux moves his left arm down, and balances himself on the floor for more leverage while the other hand is tucked behind my back.

Wondering what he could possibly be doing, I give a start when Sollux tilts his body so that it is curving to my inwardly arched back. Now glimpsing his face for a moment before it disappears over my head, I see, to my utter surprise, that his mouth is slightly open, tongue extended to the edge of the mouth, and canines exposed.

He looks... half-crazed in thirst.

I wouldn't doubt that fact, either.

A few seconds pass then-

"_Holy shit!"_

The obscenity is released from me when I feel his wet tongue sliding up the base of my horn, and fuck does it hit some sort of a pleasure nerve, or something.

I shiver, my mouth lolling open unconsciously, and Sollux takes the opportunity to place his lips over my horn and suck slightly.

It feels amazing, and that the Captor is doing this to me, and that I, a seadweller, was being dominated by the likes of a mustard-blood such as him was a slight... turn on...

The sudden nudge of his thigh sliding down my exposed ass had me squeaking as his mouth was brought away from my horns, ragged breaths now sharp.

Brought horizontal to the ground, squeaking slightly, I turn my head to the side, and scrunch my eyes closed.

Hearing a terrifying growl above me, I open my eyes, look up to see a side of Sollux that I had never known.

His two-toned eyes were half-closed and glowing with intensity. Mouth was only slightly open, fangs elongated, and tongue hanging out. I could visibly see that his body was actually shaking. Hooded eyelids dusted over with darkness, sharp fingernails grasping my arms uncomfortably, and scalding touch.

All add up to the undeniable fact that as of right now, Sollux Captor is dangerous.

His hands leave my arms to stabilize himself on the ground as he instantly presses his mouth to the skin at my ribcage, then, using his tongue, he makes a slow, wet trail up my body.

Shuddering, I can't help but arch into his touch.

I give a start as I feel his sudden hand at the small parting between my legs.

Giving a shuddering moan as he kneads the flesh there, using his ring and middle finger to push up underneath it and the other fingers to press, he soon had a successful moving clamp.

Heightening the sensation even further now, he moves to my frozen chest where perked nubs lay. A few short laps, then his entire mouth was pressed over one, and cheeks hollowing around it.

I give a squeak, my eyes closing, and tears begin to form, seeing as I am so confused at my prominent arousal. And pressing his fingers harder now, Sollux gives my chest a short bite, then begins twisting.

Unable to now hold it back, I moan his name.

"S-sol...!"

A low purr comes from his mouth; he leaves my chest for another nerve-wracking kiss, and my hands leave the floor shakily to grip his upper waist. The Captor then simultaneously thrusts a finger underneath my bulge, and bites down harshly on my lip. Sollux pulls away just in time and-

"F-fuck!"

My hands slide up his back, fingernails dragging into his skin, he hisses in satisfaction-

Then a strange sensation of rushing, tightening muscles, and my pants are being splattered in stickiness.

Panting, and...

"Ho-holy fucking hell, Er... Do-don't puth me thith far..."

Whining, my nails dig into his bare back, and he yelps.

His shirt has been pushed up his back, and I suddenly come to the realization that I've never seen this much of his skin before.

And as my hands moves up, more and more of that radiant gray skin gets exposed to hungry eyes. Hearing angered protesting, I make sure to hasten myself in lifting his shirt off before he stops me.

And in a split second, the black fabric is pooling to the ground.

Being lifted into the air by an angered Captor is _not _fun, but slamming against the wall and then having your lips assaulted is slightly more so.

Humming into my mouth, Sollux grabs my fins, strokes them, pulls away from my face still pressing his thumb to them.

"Fuck you, Eridan. Fuck you for pullin' me in thith far. Fuck you for gettin' me tho captorvated."

And at this, my horrified face breaks into a pleased smile, and together, the prissy Ampora, and the asshole Captor, laugh on the floor about a lame pun.

How long will this euphoria last, though?

What will come after it's pleasant caresses?

_Well, fuck me._

**(AN: u )**


	3. Epilouge

Running a finger down my cheek, the yellow-blood takes in my appearance.

Everything about me.

From the definite curves of my shape, to the area directly underneath my rounded chin, covered in it's completion by a striped scarf. I decided that today, I did not want to feel the pain of another's disgusted look, seeing who I really am.

Moving his hands down further now, my arms are molded to my body, before they slip off of my shoulders to the ribcage below.

Palms slowly running over exposed flesh has me quivering into his touch, then squirming as he reaches my waist.

I am pulled into his chest, warm shirt meeting my always, always, chilled skin.

He shifts uncomfortably a little at this, but as I sigh outwardly, nudging my hair into his left hand, which had been resting on my head, I can feel him smile. His fingers curl around my horn and begins to slowly rub up and down with a thumb, and the anxiety and depression is soon drained away, my bones instantly relaxing.

~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~0~

I've been revisiting the lowblood's hive once every month for almost an entire sweep now. Comforting each other through nothing but hushed words and skin against skin. I never thought anything would be born from that day, so long ago, and even more infuriating is the fact that our relationship is of a strange sort that cannot be classified on even the quadrant spectrum itself.

Moriallegience?

No, too much intimate touches, and hatred for that. So that knocks out any chance of a matespriit relationship, as well.

Kismesis- maybe, but after all the Captor had told me that he had always admired about me, I really had to begin to doubt it. And we needed one more troll for the only other option.

What exactly was it that kept me going through the days? The thought of returning to Sollux Captor's hive on the only day I could ever truly let myself unwind.

_Oh, lord._

After all of this shit, I was still doting on the uninterested idiot, wasn't I?

Nestling my head into the comfort of my sweater, I think that I can smell the slight scent of chemicals in the distance.

But, again, I'm probably just dreaming.

**(AN: I'm not really sure why I even ever wrote ****_A Lost Child_****. Maybe I was bored of writing PBJ, so I switched to Erisol for a while? Well, I hope you enjoyed, and hopefully I can move from the Sadstuck to some hot DirkJake ;p Maybe I'll come back to this fic someday soon~?)**


End file.
